4 women celebrating their wines in the vineyard

50 Funny Quotes About Wine

Wine has been deeply rooted in culture for centuries. It’s an elegant addition to any meal, the classic companion to celebrations and sorrows alike. We nervously sip it on first dates and raise it in a toast years later at the wedding, bring a bottle of our favorite cabernet to book club and sip a crisp Jordan Chardonnay outdoors on a summer evening. We cook with it, share it, and most importantly? Enjoy it.

Whether you’re a casual enthusiast or a wine aficionado, you’ll love this list of our favorite funny quotes about wine. So sit down, pour yourself a glass and read on to make your day a little bit brighter.

Funny Quotes About Wine

4 women celebrating their wines in the vineyard

Photo Credit: Christina Haisfield

Here are a few of our favorite funny wine quotes to share with friends or whip out at your next girl’s night.

  • “Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.”
  • “Wine is like duct tape – it fixes everything.”
  • “Keep your friends close and your wine closer.”
  • “Wine—because no great story started with someone eating a salad.”
  • “Corks are for quitters.”
  • “No whining, just wining.”
  • “In victory, you deserve champagne. In defeat, you need it.” – Napoleon Bonaparte
  • “Sips getting real.”
  • “Wine: the sophisticated adult’s version of a juice box.”
  • “You can’t sip with us.”
  • “Save water. Drink wine.”
  • “Wine is just juice with more life experience.”

Wine Quotes in Pop Culture & Literature

A man pouring red wine to a womans' wine glass

During episode 7 of season 6 of NBC’s This Is Us, Randall pours a glass of Jordan Cabernet Sauvignon for Beth.

From classic literature to your favorite movies and television shows, here are some of our favorite wine quotes from pop culture and literature. (Did you know that Jordan Wine has been featured on some of your favorite TV shows?)

  • Sigh “In summary, Linda, the year listed on the bottle is not an expiration date, so that wine from 1997 should be perfectly safe to drink.” – Frasier
  • “Husbands are like wine; they take a long time to mature.” – Letters to Juliet
  • “But it could be vinegar! I mean, old wine often turns to vinegar.” “Well then, we either have a wonderful glass of wine, or a really expensive salad.” – Year of the Comet
  • “I, myself, subscribe more to the European philosophy of life, my priorities leaning toward wine, women…well, actually, that’s about it.” – Alfie
  • “The grape is the only fruit that God gave the sense to know what it was made for.” – The Earth is Mine
  • “I like to drink wine more than I used to.” – The Godfather
  • “Mmm, it’s got a sort of an oaky afterbirth.” – The Office
  • “Wine is crying juice.” – Parks and Recreation

Wine Tasting Quotes for Your Instagram Caption

Group of four people toasting their wine together in a table

Heading to a Napa or Sonoma wine tasting with friends? You’ll want the perfect Instagram caption to share pictures from your adventure. Here are a few of our top favorites.

  • “Friends who sip together stay together.”
  • “You had me at Sonoma Cabernet.”
  • “Enjoying a taste of the finer things in life.”
  • “Good friends drink wine with you. Best friends know your favorite bottle.”
  • “Spending the weekend in wine country, and we’re already ready for the next glass.”
  • “Cheers to friendship!”
  • “Here’s to a day of great wine and great friends.”
  • “Our friendship is vintage.”
  • “Wine and friends are a great blend.” – Ernest Hemingway
  • “Partners in wine.”
  • “Sip, rinse, repeat.”
  • “Aging like fine Jordan Cabernet.”
  • “Magnum Monday.”
  • “My type of #MotivationMonday.”

Funny Wine Quotes for Moms

four people toasting their white wine in an outdoor setting

Let’s be honest – no one deserves a quiet night in with a glass of wine quite like Mom. Here are a few of our favorite wine quotes that are sure to make her laugh.

  • “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food!” – W.C. Fields
  • “You look like I’m going to need another glass of wine.”
  • “I’m drinking wine because I mommed so hard today.”
  • “This momma runs on wine.”
  • “The most expensive part of having kids is all of the wine you have to drink.”
  • “When the kids whine, I wine.”
  • “I drank a lot less wine three kids ago.”
  • “I guess my little one and I both love grape juice.”
  • “This is what I like to call my liquid patience.”
  • “I waited nine months for this.”

Funny Wine Quotes for Cards

Making a handmade card for the wine lover in your life? Here are a few funny wine quotes that are perfect for any card.

  • “You’re aging as gracefully as your favorite bottle of Jordan Cabernet.”
  • “I’d share my last sip of Jordan Chardonnay with you.”
  • “Our love is like Jordan Cab: it gets better with each year.”
  • “I love you more than Jordan Cab…and that’s a lot!”
  • “Life always looks better through rosé colored glasses.”
  • “To many more years of wining and dining with you.”
  • “Doctors say that as you age, you may need glasses. I agree…as long as they’re filled with Jordan Cab!”

Celebrating Wine With Funny Quotes That Make You Smile

a couple posting for picture while holding a wine glass

Photo Credit: Christina Haisfield

There’s just nothing like a great glass of wine to turn your day around. Whether you’re a fan of red or white, cabernet sauvignon or champagne, we can all agree that wine is a cornerstone of all of life’s ups and downs.

So save a few of your favorite wine quotes to share and raise a glass: to wine.

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